The Amazing Story of the Televangelist and His Gay Grandson

This article in Details magazine, The Amazing Story of the Televangelist and His Gay Grandson, was difficult to read. I got choked up reading about the suicide of Oral Roberts' gay son Ronnie, then I got nauseated reading Oral's sermon against homosexuality, then I got angry reading how Randy Roberts Potts was denied access to his grandmother's funeral, then choked up again at the end of the article. Thank you, Randy, for sharing your story.

I attended Oral Roberts University for 2 years (1980-1983) and reading this article brought back a lot of negative memories. I'm grateful for the friendships I made during my time at ORU, and especially the relationship I now have with my godsons John and Sterling, the sons of 2 of my dearest friends from my ORU years.

The Goose and the Common

This anonymous protest poem from 17th century England reminds us that what we today call “privatization” of common resources is an old story. Let’s subvert the paradigm, by supporting public institutions like schools, libraries, and parks.

~ from the 2012 Peace Calendar, Syracuse Cultural Workers

The Goose and the Common

The law locks up the man or woman
Who steals the goose from off the common
But leaves the greater villain loose
Who steals the common from off the goose.

The law demands that we atone
When we take things we do not own
But leaves the lords and ladies fine
Who take things that are yours and mine.

The poor and wretched don’t escape
If they conspire the law to break;
This must be so but they endure
Those who conspire to make the law.

The law locks up the man or woman
Who steals the goose from off the common
And geese will still a common lack
Till they go and steal it back.

~ 17th century protest against English enclosure

On Occupying Wall Street and Taking Action Locally

As a supporter of the Occupy Wall Street movement, I'm not looking to the government for solutions. The government might be able to provide some limited solutions, but most of us who walk that fine line between "liberal" (a believer in the self-correcting character of American democracy, to use Howard Zinn's definition) and "radical" (believing that something fundamental is wrong in this country - something rotten at the root; again quoting Zinn) believe government is just as much a problem as the corporations. In fact, the MAIN problem is the undue influence the two have over each other. The folks in the Occupy movements are not looking to Obama or any other government leaders, as witnessed by the fact that Congressman John Lewis, whom we all admire, was asked by the Occupy Atlanta assembly to wait until the appropriate time in the meeting before addressing us. (He understood but was unable to wait and left, which many misinterpreted as a refusal to let Rep. Lewis speak.)

A friend of mine who says he is "not a huge fan of Occupy Wall Street" posted this on Facebook: "...I'd advocate an organic approach to the problem. The rich have the power they do because consumers give it to them by the choices they make with their wealth. But if all Americans together chose to withdraw their funds from Bank of America, for example, it would destroy the corporation. If individuals worked together doing things like this, the rich would be at the mercy of the '99%'.”

I agree whole-heartedly with what my friend writes about an organic approach. Another friend of mine posted on her Facebook page, "It took a protest for people to know there are credit unions and local banks? Do you know about home gardening and local farmers yet? Recycling? Barter? DIY? Books?" I think both of my friends make a good point. A lot of the structure we need is already in place; we need for more people to be aware of these alternatives and start using them. I'd add to my friend's list: food co-ops like Sevananda in Atlanta and Life Grocery in Marietta; community radio stations like WRFG 89.3 Atlanta; and indie coffeehouses like Cool Beans on Marietta Square. Support local businesses rather than chains. Download ebooks from the website of an indie bookstore - find one at http://www.indiebound.org/google-ebooks - rather than from Kindle or Nook. Buy fresh food from your local farmer's market instead of cellophane-wrapped frankenfoods at the supermarket.

I think G. K. Chesterton, the English writer who had a huge influence on C. S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkien, and many others, would agree about an organic approach. I'm reading Chesterton's book on economics, The Outline of Sanity (1926), and it is blowing my mind. According to him, capitalism is just as flawed as socialism. He defines capitalism as "that economic condition in which there is a class of capitalists, roughly recognisable and relatively small, in whose possession so much of the capital is concentrated as to necessitate a very large majority of the citizens serving those capitalists for a wage." According to Chesterton, small shopkeepers, craftsmen, co-operative owner-workers, and independent professionals [like me; I'm self-employed] are not capitalists because we're not wage earners. "They are people who work for themselves, not for others; they are people who possess private property - however limited and however precariously - and thus act according to their own reasonable wishes, not according to the demands and whims of a small governing class" (from the publisher's introduction). G. K. Chesterton views both capitalism and socialism as enemies of a truly free market.

I'm not saying we don't need the protests in Occupy Atlanta and other cities around the world. I support them wholeheartedly, and I'm grateful I was present at the general assembly on October 7th when the Atlanta occupation began. As another friend said that night, I feel like I was present at a historic moment. But I do think we can do more than just protest. Yes, let's march on the Bank of America and exercise our constitutional right to protest. But let's also take action by taking our money OUT of Bank of America (and any other megacorporations) and putting it back into our local communities, our local economies, where it belongs.

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The Werewolf Priest

The vampire comes to my office for absolution, for the Rite of Reconciliation. I can’t tell if he is mocking me or if he is sincere.

“My name is Aaben, and I have a thousand demons in my head. Can you help me?”

If he thinks I can help him it is because, unlike my parishioners, he knows what I am. A werewolf, a creature of the night in some ways like him, in many ways not. He can smell it, just as I can smell the faint odor of death on him like cigarette smoke in his hair.

He leans across my desk, his profane elbows resting on my prayer book. “Is there absolution for monstrous creatures like us?”

“There is absolution for anyone,” I hear myself saying. “Even you and I. That’s what’s so deeply offensive, so horrific about this Gospel to which I am bound.”

“Which is more horrific?” he asks. “When you pray, or when you prey?”

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BookLog: Kissing Fish

Kissing Fish: Christianity for People Who Don't Like Christianity is an intriguing book from the moment you see its front cover: a photo of a Jesus fish and a Darwin fish kissing each other, surrounded by bumper stickers like “Christian, Not Closed Minded.” This is an unusual book in that it’s a serious theological work, but it’s also interspersed with deeply personal passages in which the author, Roger Wolsey, shares his own journey of faith. The result is a very readable and enjoyable book that shares theological insights without seeming preachy or overly scholastic.

Wolsey’s mission is to articulate a new understanding of Christianity, which he terms Progressive Christianity, and which differs significantly from the conservative evangelical faith that most Americans think of as “Christianity.” Wolsey’s Progressive Christianity is very similar to “the emerging Christian paradigm” Marcus Borg writes about in several of his books, including The Heart of Christianity: Rediscovering a Life of Faith. In a key passage in chapter 2 of Kissing Fish, which I will quote here at length, Wolsey gives an overview of Progressive Christianity as he sees it:

Progressive Christianity is a post-liberal, post-modern influenced approach to the Christian faith that: proclaims Jesus of Nazareth as Christ, Savior, and Lord; emphasizes the Way and teachings of Jesus, not merely His person; emphasizes God’s immanence not merely God’s transcendence; leans toward panentheism rather than supernatural theism; emphasizes salvation here and now instead of primarily in heaven later; emphasizes being saved for robust, abundant/eternal life over being saved from hell; emphasizes the social/communal aspects of salvation instead of merely the personal; stresses social justice as integral to Christian discipleship; takes the Bible seriously but not necessarily literally, embracing a more interpretive, metaphorical understanding; emphasizes orthopraxy instead of orthodoxy (right actions over right beliefs); embraces reason as well as paradox and mystery – instead of blind allegiance to rigid doctrines and dogmas; does not consider homosexuality to be sinful; and doesn’t claim that Christianity is the only valid or viable way to connect to God (is non-exclusive).

In Section I of Kissing Fish, Wolsey examines each of these tenets in detail, in chapters like “Heaven & Hell & what about all those other religions?” and “The Bible: Book of Science, Rules, Facts, Myths, or Life?” Section II (which I’ll write about in a future blogpost) is devoted to living a life of love, peace, and justice, including spiritual practices for the progressive Christian.

Here are some questions for my fellow progressive, emergent, and missional Christians (as well as for my post-Christian friends): What do you think of Wolsey’s summary of Progressive Christianity? Are there parts of his summary you disagree with, or might have worded differently? Are such summaries even useful, given the highly individualized nature of progressive or emergent faith? (I think they can be very useful, if only to let others know that there are other, valid forms of Christianity besides the evangelical, conservative versions.)

Kissing Fish is available from Wolsey’s website, www.progressivechristianitybook.com. It’s also available as an eBook from Nook, Kindle, iBooks, and Google eBooks. If you download it from this link you’ll be supporting Charis Books and More, Atlanta’s independent feminist bookstore. You can also check out the Facebook page for Kissing Fish.

Please feel free to add your comments and responses below. Comments on this blog are moderated, so your comments won't show up immediately.

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Queer Theology: Outside the Box

The Anarchist Reverend has issued a Call for a Queer Theology Synchroblog on August 11th: “On that day I want people to blog about what queer theology means to them. I want you to share your story of how reading the Bible queerly has changed your life. I want you to talk about how your sexuality or your gender identify has brought you deeper into relationship with God.”

This post is my response to that call. In some ways, I feel like I’ve been answering that call for the past 11 years. From 2000 to 2006 I was a regular contributor to (and I’m still a supporter of) Whosoever, the online magazine for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Christians. I’ve told a lot of my story in articles on that site, beginning with this one: Journey of Faith, Journey of Acceptance. I’ve also told my story in articles, essays, and poetry for White Crane Journal, Visionary (Gay Spirit Visions), RFD (Radical Faerie Digest), and the Gay and Lesbian Review.

But in thinking about the Anarchist Reverend’s call, I wondered what, to me, the greatest gift of queer theology might be. I think it’s this: our ability to do theology and embrace spirituality “outside the box.” For many of us, this has been a necessity, not a voluntary option, when we’ve been forced outside the boxes of our own faith tradition. Many of us have been forced out by being wounded or rejected by religion, while some of us have simply recognized that our experiences – our reality – doesn’t square with the theology we’ve been taught by our tradition. As I wrote in my article Journey of Faith, Journey of Acceptance: “I began to wonder if a theology that didn’t square with reality was a theology worth having at all.”

Some of us have responded to being forced “outside the box” by leaving organized religion altogether, and I certainly can’t fault or judge my queer brothers and sisters who have chosen to do that. Some of us have found ways to reclaim our religious traditions. Others of us have found ways to reclaim what was good about our religious tradition, while incorporating elements and practices from other traditions into our personal spirituality. After all, if we’ve already been forced “outside the box,” why limit ourselves to just one particular theological box? In struggling to free ourselves from a toxic “either/or” religion, many of us have moved on to a “both/and” spirituality. I've had friends over the years who have described themselves as Christian Buddhist, or Jewfi (Jewish Sufi), or Budeo-Pagan, or “ambispiritual,” or “panspiritual.” One of my best friends describes himself as an animistic Radical Faerie Sufi Pagan Christian.

As an Emergent Episcopalian who is also a student of Sufism as a devotional path, I can relate. I think it’s healthy to explore prayers, practices, and perspectives beyond one’s own tradition. I am not Pagan or Wiccan, but many of my friends and loved ones are, and my own spirituality has been deeply enriched by my connections with them and by my occasional participation in their rituals. I am not Buddhist, but I have learned much from attending Buddhist meditation classes and services. And the writings of the Zen monk Thich Nhat Hahn have had a profound impact on me – especially his wonderful and profound book, Living Buddha, Living Christ.

I have read articles criticizing this “cafeteria approach” to spirituality. Those who use the cafeteria metaphor are usually purists (or fundamentalists) who look down their noses at those of us whose experiences don’t easily fit into just one religion. The reality is that many of us who are queer have woven together our own individualized spiritualities from bits and pieces of different traditions – whatever works for us and connects us to the Divine.

As Karen Armstrong said in Tricycle: The Buddhist Review (Summer 2003), “The new pluralism is already a fact of life. It is not that we are going to create a giant ‘World Religion,’ but rather that people turn quite naturally for nourishment to more than one tradition. More Christians than Jews read Martin Buber, for example, and Jews read Paul Tillich and Harvey Cox. People call themselves Christian or Jewish Buddhists. And this cross-fertilization could revitalize sagging traditions and infuse them with new life.”

That ability to cross-fertilize, to weave together a vibrant spirituality that revitalizes us personally and maybe even revitalizes the traditions themselves – that, I think, is one of the greatest theological gifts of those of us who are queer, or of anyone else who has been forced “outside the box” of any religious tradition.

To read what others have written as part of the Queer Theology Synchroblog, click here.

Easter: The Promise of Resurrection

Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime.
~ Martin Luther

Jesus dies 'for' us not in the sense of 'in place of' but 'in solidarity with.' The first is merely a heavenly transaction of sorts; the second is a transformation of our very soul and the trajectory of history.
~ Fr. Richard Rohr

Because Jesus took into himself on the cross every evil and every sin and every brokenness to come upon this planet, there is the fragile but living hope that one day even Satan may once again join the sons of God when they gather round their Maker, and that he will beg to be allowed once again to carry the light. For, as Saint Paul wrote to the people of Philippi, "Every knee shall bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of the Father."
~ Madeleine L'Engle, from Glimpses of Grace

I believe in the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth as Jesus the Christ, and the resurrection of the body of all creatures great and small, not the literal resurrection of this tired body, this broken self, but the body as it was meant to be, the fragmented self made new; so that at the end of time all Creation will be One.
~ Madeleine L'Engle, from The Irrational Season

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Watching Rob Bell Squirm

My Calvinist friend Brandon Dyer sent me a link to this interview with Rob Bell by MSNBC's Martin Bashir. The YouTube video is titled "MSNBC Host Makes Rob Bell Squirm" - and indeed Rob Bell does squirm throughout the interview, which many evangelical bloggers are intepreting as meaning the interviewer "trapped" Bell or caught him in a contradiction. But the reason Rob Bell is squirming (other than the politely hostile tone of the questions Bashir is asking) is because he keeps being asked the same questions over and over again, even after he has given an answer. The problem is that that Martin Bashir doesn't understand the answers and thinks Rob Bell is being evasive or nonsensical. As one commenter on the YouTube site puts it, "Bashir was only trying to get the truth of what Bell believes, and Bell seems to side-step the question giving strange meaningless answers... this is after Bashir asks him the SAME question 3 different times!"

If it seems at times like Rob Bell and Martin Bashir are talking two completely different languages, that's because they are. Bell is a post-modernist, comfortable with ambiguity and paradox, willing to ask questions and admit he doesn't know the answers, celebrating the diversity of views found in the historical Christian "stream." Bashir is clearly a modernist, who believes faith is a matter of propositional truth. Bashir believes only one of the propositions he raises about God and the disaster in Japan can be true and one cannot. The answers Rob Bell gives ARE meaningless to Bashir, who is unable to rise above his modernist "either/or" worldview and see that Bell is giving perfectly acceptable "both/and" answers. I imagine if Bashir were to interview Brian McLaren or Peter Rollins (or any of my Emergent friends), it would go the same way. Bell is squirming because he realizes he is not being understood. To quote Cool Hand Luke, "what we've got here is a failure to communicate."

I haven't read Rob Bell's new book yet (I agree with the title: Love Wins), but from my deep-skimming of it on my Nook Color, it really doesn't look like he's saying anything new. He is raising the same questions Madeleine L'Engle, Marcus Borg, Dom Crossan, and others raised back in the 1980's and 1990's - and which Origen raised in the AD 200's. Raising these questions is what got Madeleine L'Engle branded a universalist and banned from most Christian bookstores in the 1980's. I'm sure there will be many Christian bookstores that will not carry Rob Bell's new book. (There are already many that no longer sell Brian McLaren's books.)

True communication between worldviews IS possible. I'm grateful for conservative friends like Brandon, as well as my friend Doug LeBlanc (who was an associate editor at Christianity Today when I first met him in 2001) and some of my Baptist friends - friends with whom I can respectfully disagree and have true dialogue. Such dialogue not likely to happen, though, in a 7-minute interview on a cable news network.


Rob Bell's book Love Wins is available at Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006204964X/wildfaith

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O Holy Night

Repeating (and updating) a blogpost from a few years ago about my all-time favorite Christmas song, “O Holy Night” ~

I love the history of this 1847 song (the first song to be broadcast on radio, in 1906), a song that was initially rejected by many churches because its lyricist was a “free-thinker” wine merchant, its composer was Jewish, and its third verse was decidedly anti-slavery:

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,
And in His name all oppression shall cease.

Sadly, most recorded versions of “O Holy Night” leave out that third verse. A recent one that doesn’t is on Holly Happy Days, a beautiful, mostly-acoustic new CD from the Indigo Girls. Another is on the Christmas Offerings CD by Third Day, one of my favorite Christian rock groups.

Both versions are good renditions of my all-time favorite Christmas carol, which has a somewhat-gnostic bent in its first verse: equating “sin” with “error” (rather than disobedience or transgression) and describing the appearance of the Christ child as the time when “the soul felt its worth.”

May your soul feel its true worth this Christmas!

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Loving the Nook Color

Last month I bought a Nook Color, the new e-reader (“Reader’s Tablet”) from Barnes & Noble, and I'm loving it!

The CNET review of the Nook Color says, “Barnes & Noble is keeping the focus and apps and content related to the reading experience... Yawn.” I'm a reader, not a tech geek, so “the reading experience” is NOT a yawn for me, and neither is the Nook Color.

I don't think the Nook Color will be “a Kindle/iPad killer,” as one review suggests. There's definitely a market for all 3 products. My friends and loved ones who have Kindles (including my Mom) love their Kindles.

I went with the Nook Color because, unlike the Kindle and the regular Nook, it has a touch-screen, and because it features color, not just e-ink. Two free children's books come with the Nook Color, so Barnes & Noble can show off its color features. Also, after the first of the year, the Nook Color will upgrade its operating system to Android 2.2, to be Flash-compatible, so I'll be able to use it to surf websites that use Flash.

The Nook Color lets you organize your e-books on “shelves” on your virtual bookcase. So I have one shelf labeled Bible/Prayer (which includes the English Standard Version of the Bible, a free download from Nook Books) as well as Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals, the new book from Shane Claiborne, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, and Enuma Okoro (I'm using it now for my daily prayer, so I decided to have the e-version as well as the physical book). I also have shelves for Books by Friends, Classics/Poetry (many of the Barnes & Noble Classics are only $1.99), Existentialism, and Zombies.

I also like the built-in Pandora radio app (mine is tuned to the Grateful Dead station) and the way magazines are displayed. Color photos seem more crisp, clear, and vibrant on the Nook Color than they do in print magazines, especially the photos in National Geographic. You can read magazines in portrait (one-page) or panoramic (two-page) view, and you can double-tap the screen to zoom in on a page. You can also read articles in “article view,” as a single column of text, if you don't want to be bothered by magazine ads. I've subscribed to several magazines electronically (New York Times Book Review, National Geographic, Men's Health, The American Scholar), and I can read them on my Nook Color without having to worry about the print magazines piling up and having to recycle them later. (Same thing with paperback novels I won't be re-reading.) When my print subscription to Vanity Fair runs out, I'll subscribe to it via Nook.

The only drawback is that some of the books offered by Kindle are not offered by Nook (like The Big Book of Christian Mysticism by my friend Carl McColman) - but I've also discovered a few books from Nook that are not offered by Kindle.

The Nook Color is an e-reader, a “Reader’s Tablet” focused on the reading experience. It does more than a Kindle but less than an iPad - and it only costs half what an iPad would cost.

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It Gets Better

Here are two short but moving videos in response to the recent gay youth suicides.

Tim Gunn (Project Runway) shares his experience of trying to commit suicide as a gay teenager:



England and Sale Sharks rugby player Ben Cohen expresses his feelings about young people being bullied due to their sexuality:



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My Last Conversation with Dad

My father, Lloyd Grizzle, passed away on Monday, July 19, after suffering a massive stroke the day before. Dad was 68 years old.

Dad's medical odyssey began in July 2008, when two gallstones got lodged in his pancreas. This started a domino effect of medical problems over the last two years that included acute pancreatitis, kidney failure, respiratory failure, a series of hospital-acquired infections, and a cardiac emergency that left him with brain injury. He had been in and out of six different hospitals and had been in hospice care at a nursing home for the last several months.

Last week, on Tuesday, July 13, I had spent the day with him at the nursing home. I was sitting in the chair beside Dad’s bed, after lunch. We were watching TV together, and suddenly he started trying to ask me something. It was difficult to make out what he was asking, and at first I thought he was trying to say the word “itchy.” I asked if he felt itchy. Then it sounded like he was asking me if I was itchy. It finally dawned on me what he was asking: “Did you ever read Nietzsche?”

That was the last thing in the world I expected to hear from him. I told him yes, I had read Nietzsche. He got this wistful look in his eyes and said, “I never did.” Then he asked, “What do you think he meant when he said God is dead?”

For a moment I felt disoriented, almost dizzy. I’d had a text-conversation with my godson John about Nietzsche just a few nights before. I told Dad I didn’t think Nietzsche was talking literally because he was an atheist, so he didn’t believe in God, much less a God who could die. “I think he was talking about ideas and concepts of God that he found irrelevant or even harmful. In Nietzsche’s time that would be--”

I started to say Descartes, but Dad interrupted me and said “Luther?” I said, “Yeah, Luther and Calvin, and I think he railed against Descartes too.”

Then I asked if he had ever read Meister Eckhart. He said, “Online,” which I understood to mean he’d read a translation of Meister Eckhart on the Christian Classics Ethereal Library website, a few years ago when he was reading the Christian classics online. Dad had told me last year that he’d read The Cloud of Unknowing online, but it was an old translation that wasn’t easy to understand.

I quoted Meister Eckhart’s famous line, “I pray God to rid me of God.” Dad furrowed his brow like he was thinking that over. I told Dad I thought Meister Eckhart was talking about moving beyond our ideas and concepts of God and having a relationship with God himself. Dad nodded his head. His eyes were clear – he didn’t have that confused or disoriented look he so often had.

Then I asked, “Why were you thinking about Nietzsche? Does it feel like God is dead?” It took Dad a few seconds to answer, and I became aware during that time that I wasn’t breathing. Part of me was afraid of what he might answer. I took a deep breath, and Dad said: “No. Sometimes it feels like God is – absent.” I could tell Dad had chosen that last word carefully.

Then Dad went on to say, “But other times I know God is present.” He turned his head and looked me directly in the eye and said, “I think he’s waiting for me.”

I squeezed his hand firmly and said, with a certainty that came over me like a flood of grace, “He is. He IS waiting for you, and so is Roy [Dad's brother], and so is Papa Grizzle…”

And Dad smiled and said, “And your Papa Pence.” His grip on my hand loosened and he laid his head back on his pillow and closed his eyes. I had the feeling the conversation, which lasted for less than two minutes, had exhausted him. Each word he had spoken, it seemed, took an immense amount of effort from him.

He was asleep within a minute. Shortly after that, I left the nursing home and drove to Canton to take a DUI evaluation to an attorney. She wasn’t in her office, so I slid the report under her door. I was glad she wasn’t in, because my eyes were red and blotchy from crying.

When I got back to Dad’s room about an hour later, he was awake and had turned the TV from National Geographic to Family Feud. I started to tell him about the new book my friend Carl McColman had written about the Christian mystics, including Meister Eckhart – but I could quickly tell from Dad’s eyes that he didn’t know what I was talking about. I asked him if he remembered asking me about Nietzsche, and again his eyes had a confused look, like he didn’t even understand the question. He didn’t remember our conversation at all.

But I know that earlier that afternoon Dad had been clear-minded and thoughtful, and he had been certain that God was waiting for him to come home.

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Blowing on the Embers of the Heart

This is a guided meditation I developed several years ago, when I was asked by an Episcopal church group to lead a workshop on healing prayer in the Sufi and Christian traditions. This meditation centers on a spiritual practice that is found in both traditions.

Over the years I've presented this meditation in quite a few different contexts, including several church groups and Sufi circles, a Gay Spirit Visions conference, a Mary Magdalene workshop co-led with my friend Nancy Daniell, and a class on the Gnostic Gospels co-facilitated with my friend Carl McColman. I shared this meditation most recently with the Group of Unknowing, a discussion group that is part of the Emergent Christian Cohort here in Cobb County, Georgia. I'm honored that this meditation has also been used by the Magdalene Circle led by Betty Conrad Adam, author of The Magdalene Mystique: Living the Spirituality of Mary Today (click on the title to read my review of this wonderful book).

Here is the guided meditation, “Blowing on the Embers of the Heart.” Be sure to allow space for silence between each short paragraph.

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I invite you to close your eyes and to be present to your breath, simply observing it.

[a brief silence]

Follow an in-breath all the way down, into your heart chakra – the domain of the heart.

As you continue to be present to your breath, allow yourself to open up to the boundless space in your heart.

Allow your breath to breathe into your heart center. The ancient Christian and Sufi mystics of the desert called this “blowing on the embers of the heart.”

Feel your heart center opening up, like a flower unfurling. Be present to whatever you experience in your heart center.

Experience the infinite nature of your heart: a vast, boundless void, what the Sufi mystic Ibn al-Arabi called “a sea without a distant shore.”

The Christian mystic Thomas Merton called this space “the center, the existential altar which simply is.” As Merton tells us, “Our inmost ‘I’ exists in God and God dwells in it.”

Allow yourself to feel the presence of the Divine Beloved. Allow yourself to open up to the infinite love, the infinite openness, the infinite healing presence in the domain of your heart.

As you prepare to open your eyes and return to our circle, allow your heart to remain open and boundless as we listen to each other share from our hearts.

The Sufi teacher Hazrat Inayat Khan said, “The heart kindled with love throws its light on all it sees.” May we allow that light from our hearts to illuminate us during this sacred time together.

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BookLog: The Book of the Shepherd

The Book of the Shepherd is “the story of one simple prayer, and how it changed the world,” as the book’s subtitle tells us. It’s a charming tale, written in the form of an extended fable, about a shepherd who goes searching for a “new way” to replace the violent code of “an eye for an eye” that he finds in the harsh world around him. Along the way, the shepherd meets others, some of whom join him on his journey.

Each person we encounter has a tale of his or her own, so the short novel becomes a series of interwoven stories, each with its own bit of wisdom to impart. The author of the book, Joann Davis (who “discovered” the manuscript “By the Scribe”), acknowledges in her Afterword the sources for the stories’ insights, which range from Elaine Pagels’ The Gnostic Gospels to M. Scott Peck and even Charlotte’s Web.

The “prayer that changed the world” is the classic Prayer of St. Francis, which in this story becomes the hidden treasure found by the shepherd and his companions on a parchment scroll in a dark and perilous cave. The prayer has been shortened and bowdlerized, perhaps to suit the “spiritual but not religious” audience to whom this book is being marketed. “Lord” and “O Divine Master” have been deleted (perhaps too “patriarchal” or “religious”?), so the prayer is addressed to no one in particular. But most annoyingly, a line has been added at the end of the prayer: “For this is the Law of Substitution.” This added line has the effect of making a beautiful prayer that has inspired millions over the centuries sound like a PowerPoint presentation at a Deepak Chopra seminar.

This short novel does not rise to the level of excellence found in Master of the Jinn: A Sufi Novel by Irving Karchmar, which is (by far) the best book I’ve read in the “spiritual novel” genre. But The Book of the Shepherd also avoids the preachiness and wooden dialogue found in other “spiritual novels” like The Celestine Prophecy and The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. Apart from its tampering with the Prayer of St. Francis, The Book of the Shepherd is indeed “an inspiring and moving fable,” as the cover blurb from Paulo Coelho claims.

The Book of the Shepherd is available at Amazon.com as well as your local independent bookseller.
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To Be Blessed, and To Bless

I came across this little poem by William Butler Yeats this week, while re-reading Iron John: A Book About Men, by Robert Bly:

My fiftieth year had come and gone.
I sat, a solitary man,
In a crowded London shop,
An open book and empty cup
On the marble table-top.

While on the shop and street I gazed
My body for a moment blazed,
And twenty minutes, more or less
It seemed, so great my happiness,
That I was blessed, and could bless.

I haven’t reached my 50th year yet (I’ll turn 48 in a couple of weeks), but this seems like a wonderful poem with which to end one year, 2009, and begin a new one. This has been a challenging year in many respects, but throughout everything, that sense of blessing – “That I was blessed, and could bless” – remains.

I was reminded of a conference I attended on St. Simon’s Island in 2007. Marcus Borg, one of my favorite biblical scholars, talked about a spiritual practice he had picked up from his fellow presenter, Barbara Brown Taylor. It’s a very simple practice. As you go through the day, silently bless every person you see: just say “Bless you,” silently to yourself, directed at one particular person at a time.

Sounds easy, almost simplistic, but I’ve found it to be a very moving and profound practice, the times I’ve remembered to practice it. The people at the coffeehouse and at your place of work, the people you see walking across the street, the people you see as you conduct your everyday business, even the crazy drivers in traffic – just offer each person a blessing in silence. “Bless you.”

Blessings to all of you as 2009 ends and a New Year begins.

Darrell {Grateful Bear}

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The Eternal Christ in the Cosmic Story

Here's a wonderful interview with Fr. Richard Rohr that helps us see what the Incarnation (i.e., Christmas) is really all about.

The eternal christ in the cosmic story | National Catholic Reporter

From the interview: "Once we restore the idea that the Incarnation means God truly loves creation then we restore the sacred dimension to nature. We bring the plants and animals and all of nature in with us. They are windows into the endless creativity, fruitfulness and joy of God. We assert that we believe in the sweep of history, humanity and all of creation that Christ includes."

Dad: In Recovery from Surgery

I'm very grateful to all my friends who are continuing to pray for my Dad. His surgery went very well yesterday (Dec. 17th), and he is now in the ICU for recovery. He will be in the hospital for 10 to 30 days, and he will still be in need of continuous care after that, either at home or at a rehab center. We'll be celebrating Christmas Day at a hospital for the 2nd year in a row, but our family will be together and it will still be a very merry holy-day.

Dad in Hospital for Surgery on Thursday 12/17

My father, Lloyd Grizzle, was admitted to the hospital yesterday, this time for a planned surgery on Thursday, Dec. 17th. The surgery is to repair a large hernia on the surgical scar on his abdomen, and also to rebuild part of his abdominal wall (using cadaver muscle and tissue).

Dad's medical odyssey began in July 2008, when two gallstones got lodged in his pancreas. This started a domino effect of medical problems over the past year and a half, including acute pancreatitis, kidney failure, respiratory failure, a series of hospital-acquired infections, and a cardiac emergency last December that left him with brain injury. He has been in and out of six different hospitals and physical rehab centers, and he has been limited to a wheelchair and hospital bed at home, receiving home health care, when not in a hospital or rehab.

Dad's surgery on Thursday is extremely risky, but it's also very risky for him NOT to have the surgery. As always, I am grateful for the many friends, both online and off, who have continued to keep Dad and my family in their thoughts and prayers.

~ Darrell

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Update on Dad: Home Now, with Surgery in December

Dad came home last week, after spending 30 days doing physical therapy at a rehab center in Woodstock, GA. The surgery he needs, to repair a large hernia on the scar on his abdomen (from his previous pancreas surgery) and to rebuild part of his abdominal wall, has been scheduled for December 17th. He will be entering Emory University Hospital on December 14th in preparation for the surgery. He will probably be in the hospital for about 2 weeks after the surgery.

Many thanks to all of you who continue to keep Dad and my family in your prayers.

Darrell
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The Big Book of Christian Mysticism

The new book by my friend Carl McColman, The Big Book of Christian Mysticism, will not be released till August 2010, but you can go ahead and pre-order it now on Amazon. Visit Carl's webpage for the book for details.
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Dad in Hospital for Pre-Surgery Tests

It has been quite a while since I've written about my Dad's health situation, because it has remained basically the same. Since coming home from the hospital in April (actually a series of 6 hospitals over a 10-month time period), Dad has been growing weaker, because he is no longer able to do physical therapy because of a large hernia on the surgical scar on his abdomen. He was admitted to Emory University Hospital last night for a week of tests to see if he is strong enough to have surgery to repair his abdomen. If he can have the surgery he needs, the hope is that he can begin physical therapy again and regain some of his strength.

Many thanks to all of my friends, online and in "real life," who are continuing to hold Dad and my family in your prayers.

bearhugs ~
Darrell
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Kato: Over the Rainbow Bridge

My feline companion, Kato, passed away on Wednesday morning, August 12, 2009. He was 17 years old. He had been diagnosed on Saturday with chronic renal failure, a swollen spleen, and a urinary tract infection. He was having trouble with balance and walking because, according to the vet, his kidney failure was affecting his brain.

The decision to euthanize Kato was extremely difficult, but it was the truly merciful thing to do. Over the last four days of his life I had been giving him fluids from an IV drip bag subcutaneously. He would sit very quietly and patiently as I injected him and administered the fluids. The fluids were only keeping him alive each day; they were not healing his kidney condition, which would only worsen if he remained alive.

Kato was put to sleep at Cat Care Hospital in Marietta. My dear friend Cathy was present, and so was Michael, my ex-partner and still good friend. It was a very difficult and emotional time, but it was also a sacred time. I was very grateful for the presence of my friends as we let Kato go, and for the prayers and well-wishes of other friends I had shared with over the last four days.

On Tuesday, the day before, Kato continued to perform his ministry as a feline massage therapist. I wrote about this in 2003, in the article Ministers in Fur [click here to read it] for Whosoever.org. On Tuesday morning he noticed a wound on my leg where I had banged my shin while working out. He sniffed the wound, then stood up against it for a while, purring - even though he was having trouble standing or walking at that point.

On Wednesday morning, before taking him to the vet, I carried him in my arms and took him for one last walk through the woods behind my apartment. He did not try to get down from my arms - he knew he was having trouble walking - but he looked around intently at the trees and birds and butterflies. These are the woods where Kato spent many happy hours hunting and exploring. Only last week, he had brought me a mouse. I was working at the computer and did not notice the mouse in Kato's mouth when I let him back inside. When Kato started meowing proudly and I saw the mouse (still twitching) on the floor at his feet, I let out a surprised scream. Kato calmly leaned down and chomped the mouse one time so it stopped twitching, then looked up at me as if to say, "Is that better?" [Carl McColman says Kato brought me presents of mice, chipmunks, and birds (and once a garden snake), because he felt sorry for me and was trying to teach me how to hunt.]

Kato also sat in front of the TV for a while on Wednesday morning, purring as the jazz music channel played. As Michael and I took him to the vet, we played the CD of Kato's favorite song, "St. Thomas" by the Sonny Rollins Trio (1959). I've written before about Kato's love for classic jazz from the 1950's and 1960's. He especially loved extended drum solos (there's a great one in "St. Thomas"), including Mickey Hart solos in Grateful Dead songs. He also loved Trevor Harden's CD, "Parachute." Kato would not tolerate Bob Dylan, though - he would meow loudly at the speakers till I turned off Dylan's music.

I know it will take me a while to go through the grieving process. It feels strange coming home to an empty apartment. Kato was with me for over seven years. Kato was fully aware that he was winding down over the past four days, and he often sequestered himself in a corner (on his catnip scratcher) or under my bed. He always came out when I called him, though, and he was very affectionate to the very end, nuzzling my beard and purring as I held him in my lap.

I believe in the Communion of Saints that transcends death (and space and time), and I believe that communion includes our beloved animal companions. I can easily imagine Kato now nuzzling the beard of St. Francis, or sitting in the lap of St. Julian of Norwich - or enjoying a heavenly jam session with Sonny Rollins and John Coltrane. Kato lived a long and complete life, and I will always be grateful for the companionship, joy, and healing presence he brought into my life.

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BookLog: The Cloud of Unknowing: A New Translation

The Cloud of Unknowing is a 14th century Christian classic, the primary source-text for Centering Prayer and other forms of meditation and “prayer of the heart.” This beautiful new translation by Carmen Acevedo Butcher has a more devotional quality than most previous translations of The Cloud and its “sequel,” The Book of Privy Counsel. Butcher’s versions of these texts are easy to read, and she captures the passion, deep faith, and occasional humor of their anonymous author.

Butcher begins with an extended introduction to The Cloud, giving us the history of the book as well as what we do and do not know about its author. This introduction also gives us a summary of the theology and spirituality of the text, which, while solidly rooted in 14th century Christian faith, has been a deep inspiration to contemplatives of many other faith traditions throughout the last five centuries. The fact that this new translation is published by a Buddhist press shows that The Cloud transcends barriers of tradition and is a truly timeless classic.

One of the “hidden treasures” of Butcher’s translation is the Notes section at the end of the book, which give us a wealth of insight into the text. She occasionally quotes the Middle English to show us the wordplays and other aspects of the original text, and she also includes references to Scripture and other writings to illuminate various passages of The Cloud. It’s definitely worth the trouble to flip to the back of the book to read the endnotes.

I fell in love with The Cloud of Unknowing about 15 years ago through William Johnston’s classic translation, and now I’ve fallen in love with it again. I feel like I’ve been re-introduced to an old friend. Even if you’ve read The Cloud in other translations, I highly recommend reading it again in Butcher’s new and vibrant translation.

If you live in Metro Atlanta, please join us at The Group of Unknowing, a small group of interfaith friends (Christians, Sufis, and others) who are gathering to read through The Cloud together. For more information, visit the group’s Facebook page.

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Doctrines of Grace: BEERS, not TULIPs

Whoever blogs at Kingdom Grace (I couldn't find the name of the author) is offering a great alternative to the Five Points of Calvinism, traditionally written as TULIP:

* Total Depravity
* Unconditional Election
* Limited Atonement
* Irresistible Grace
* Perseverance of the Saints

Kingdom Grace is offering BEERS:

* Broken Eikons
* Eternal Purpose
* Extravagant Atonement
* Response to Grace
* Shalom

I prefer Kingdom Grace's Doctrines. How 'bout you?

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“Word” by Madeleine L'Engle

I, who live by words, am wordless when
I try my words in prayer. All language turns
To silence. Prayer will take my words and then
Reveal their emptiness. The stilled voice learns
To hold its peace, to listen with the heart
To silence that is joy, is adoration.
The self is shattered, all words torn apart
In this strange patterned time of contemplation
That, in time, breaks time, breaks words, breaks me,
And then, in silence, leaves me healed and mended.
I leave, returned to language, for I see
Through words, even when all words are ended.

I, who live by words, am wordless when
I turn me to the Word to pray. Amen.

---

by Madeleine L'Engle
quoted in Praying Our Days: A Guide and Companion
by Bishop Frank T. Griswold

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“Night of Hope”

Becky Garrison has written a great review of the Joel Osteen “Night of Hope” concert in New York City. Her review is at the “God's Politics” blog at Sojourners.

I have mixed feelings about Joel Osteen. His book “Your Best Life Now” was one of two motivational books that gave me the confidence to go into full-time, self-employed private practice a few years ago. (The other book, which actually had more practical advice, was “The Success Principles” by Jack Canfield.) I really don't have a problem with Joel Osteen as a motivational speaker or writer - he is actually more balanced and realistic than many of the motivational speakers out there. For example, I'll choose Osteen over most of the teachers featured in “The Secret” any day. (And yes, I know Jack Canfield was one of those teachers.)

So while I might occasionally listen to Joel Osteen's podcasts (as motivational speeches, not for theology or for spiritual guidance), I just can't bring myself to watch him on television. He is shown on TV standing in a huge stadium that calls itself a church - but there are no crosses, no symbols of the Christian faith. There is, however, a ridiculously large American flag, which the camera shows from time to time as it pans the well-dressed, mostly-white, affluent audience. Gigantic flag; no cross: it's clear what's really being worshipped in this “church.”

Addendum: Check out my friend Carl McColman's excellent (and thoroughly biblical) reflections on “abundant living” at his Website of Unknowing.

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Emergent in the ’Burbs

Matt Scott has written a great blogpost about this past Tuesday’s meeting of Cobb Gathering: An Emergent Cohort, the new Emergent Christian group that formed three months ago. We meet on the second Tuesday of each month, at Johnnie MacCracken’s Celtic Pub, on Marietta Square.

Unlike Emergent groups I’ve attended in downtown Atlanta (which tend to be almost 100% liberal or “progressive”), the Cobb group – being rooted in suburban Cobb County, north of Atlanta – is truly diverse, encompassing people on many different points on the theological and political spectrums. Interestingly enough, one of our Cobb folks who is frequently on the “conservative” end of our conversations is viewed as a “liberal” by many of his friends.

We want to provide a “suspended space” (beyond labels of “liberal” or “conservative”) where we can wrestle, reflect, and ask honest questions. When we disagree with each other, we are able to do so respectfully – which I greatly appreciate, since I’m often on the “heretical” end of the spectrum. What brings us together is a desire for conversation and to create a safe place to explore what it means to be a follower of Jesus in a postmodern world.

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Celtic Mass at St. Paul’s

My friend Donnie and I went to Tybee Island and Savannah for a mini-vacation last weekend. We only stayed three nights, but we were able to devote one day (Sunday) to Savannah, with its coffeehouses and beautiful historic squares, and the next day to Tybee Island and the beach. The waves were too choppy to float peacefully in the ocean, but I had fun bobbing up and down in the waves. And of course we had lots of great seafood! Highlights: the blackened “tuna bites” appetizer and crab cakes (the world’s best!) at Café Loco, and the panko-encrusted mahi mahi at The Breakfast Club. On Tuesday, before heading back to Atlanta, we met with my favorite living artist, Brian MacGregor, and I purchased a beautiful painting of his called “Key of the Soul” – I’ll post more about that soon. We also had lunch at Kevin Barry’s Irish Pub on River Street with our friends Tommy and Trevor, two of the creative forces behind RockOm, a wonderful webzine devoted to music and spirituality.


One of the highlights of the weekend was attending the Celtic Mass at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Savannah on Sunday night. This was a deeply moving worship service that was both contemporary and ancient, grounded in Celtic and Anglican tradition. There were moments of silence throughout the service, which added to the contemplative nature of the Mass.


One thing that was new to me was Tírechán’s Creed, which we said together in place of the Nicene Creed:

Our God is the God of all humans,
the God of heaven and earth,
the God of the sea and the rivers,
the God of the sun and the moon,
the God of all the heavenly bodies,
the God of the lofty mountains,
the God of the lowly valleys.

God is above the heavens,
and he is beneath the heavens.
Heaven and earth and sea,
and everything that is in them,
such he has as his abode.

He inspires all things,
he gives life to all things,
he stands above all things,
and he stands beneath all things.
He enlightens the light of the sun,
he strengthens the light of the night and the stars,
he makes wells in the arid land and dry islands in the sea,
and he places the stars in the service of the greater lights.

He has a Son, Jesus, who is co-eternal with himself,
and similar in all respects to himself;
and neither is the Son younger than the Father,
nor is the Father older than the Son;
and the Holy Spirit breathes in them.
And the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are inseparable.
Amen.

I don’t know the history of this Creed, other than that it dates back to Tírechán, a 7th century Irish bishop and biographer of Saint Patrick. If anyone knows more about its history, please post it here as a comment. Perhaps this creed resonated so deeply within me because of my Celtic roots (I’m a Scottish and Irish mix, with a wee bit of Cherokee). As a lover of Creation Spirituality, I appreciate this creed’s emphasis on God’s creation as well as the everywhereness of God.

This is from the Celtic Mass’s Offering of the Bread and Wine:

Celebrant:
Thank you, O Lord God Almighty,
Thank you for the earth and the waters.
Thank you for the sky, the air, the sun:
Thank you for all living creatures.

All:
Come, O Lord, in the bread of life.

Celebrant:
Praise be to you, our Father and Mother, for our homes, and families, our friends, and loved ones. Praise be to you for all the people around us everywhere in this wounded world.

All:
Come, O Lord, in the cup of healing.

St. Paul’s is a beautiful church, a lovely Anglo-Catholic parish with lots of icons, candles, and statues of Mary. This Celtic Mass seemed to make it an even more beautiful and sacred space.

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Update on Dad: Home from the Hospital at Last

My Dad, Lloyd Grizzle, came home from the hospital on Easter Sunday. He has been in six different hospitals and one rehab center since his medical odyssey began last July, and he has only been home for one short week during all that time. He was incredibly happy to be home at last! His little dog Muffy Joy (shown below) was happy to see him too.

The pictures below were taken in the sunroom of my parents' home in Jasper, Georgia, overlooking the North Georgia mountains.

The view from my parents' sunroom (through the screen)

Grateful Bear with Papa Bear

Springtime beauty in my parents' backyard

Dad is still not able to walk, and he will have regular visits each week from his home health care nurse and physical therapist. Please continue to keep him in your prayers, as well as my Mother, who is now his full-time caregiver.

Darrell
Grateful Bear
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Update on Dad: Back in the Hospital Again

My Dad, Lloyd Grizzle, was re-admitted to the hospital late last night, with another infection and suffering from gastric distress. Since last July my Dad has been in six different hospitals, and this is his fourth admission to this particular hospital. His medical odyssey started with acute pancreatitis (two gallstones got lodged in his pancreas), which led to a domino effect that included lung failure, kidney failure, and other problems. The most significant injuries were from an episode a few months ago when his heartbeat and breathing stopped and it took medical personnel six minutes to revive him.

I haven't written much about Dad's condition in recent months, because there haven't been any major changes to report. He has continued to have good days and bad days, but overall he has been making steady progress at the inpatient rehabilitation center. He is still not able to walk, but he had gotten to the point where he could get in and out of his wheelchair with only minimal assistance.

Please keep my Dad in your prayers, as well as my Mother and the rest of my family. I deeply appreciate all the messages of support from my wonderful blog-friends, Facebook friends, and others. Knowing that you are keeping my Dad in your thoughts and prayers makes this difficult time a lot easier.

With a truly grateful heart,
Darrell
Grateful Bear